A Joke Gone Right
by Cheeky Slytherin Lass
Summary: Fred and George make Percy a dating profile as a joke. But maybe they actually did him a favor.::Muggle!au, online dating!au


_Hamilton Mania, jealousy: siblings (clock)_

 _World Cup, France vs Uruguay: online dating!au_

 _Wheel of Fortune: Perciver_

 _Showtime, Washington on Your Side: vacuous_

 _Lo's Lowdown: "And by the way, I think I was a little bit in love with you."_

 _Hard piñata: 1013_

* * *

As Percy prepares to open his bedroom door, it opens from the other side. Fred and George stand before him, exchanging glances that clearly say _busted._ With a sigh, Percy folds his arms over his chest and taps his foot impatiently. "Well?" he prompts. "What were you doing in my room?"

The twins wear identical smirks. George breaks the silence with a chuckle. "Is this _your_ room, Perce? My God, we mistook it for the toilet."

"Well, these things happen." Fred offers Percy a smile that might be apologetic if not for the lack of contrition. "Best be off. Be a good boy, Percy!"

With that, the twins push past him, chuckling and whispering in tones too low for Percy to catch. Rolling his eyes and still confused about the exchange, Percy enters his room, looking around. Nothing seems out of place. His computer is still turned on with his university homework opened; a quick glance at the document tells him that his brothers haven't sabotaged him, and he breathes a hesitant sigh of relief. His clock is still in one piece, and his closet seems to be undisturbed.

Though he still doesn't know what Fred and George had been doing in his room, he doesn't have time to dwell on it. His essay is due in the morning, and he wants to finish it before dinner. Deciding to push the mystery of his brothers from his mind, he sits at his computer, cracking his fingers and preparing his wrists for a long typing session.

 _Buzz, buzz._

Percy picks up his phone, swiping the screen and unlocking it. There's a notification from an app he's never seen before; he recognizes the name: an online dating site targeted at men seeking men.

Realization dawns on him, and he swears loudly. At least he knows what the twins were up to. As he goes to set his phone down, he notices the picture attached to the message, and his heart flutters. There's no mistaking that confident smirk and those soft, gorgeous brown eyes. Oliver Wood, aka the boy Percy has fancied since primary school. He's gone on to play football with Aston Villa—which certainly has _nothing_ to do with Percy's interest in the sport—and Percy hasn't talked to him in a few years.

He can't resist. He clicks the notification, and it takes him to the message.

 **KnockOnWood**

 **Received: secs ago**

 **Heya, Perce. Nice name lol. Almost as surprising as your bio. Almost.**

 **Fancy seeing you here. I always wondered. Never asked. Hope you're well.**

Curious, Percy exits out of the message and clicks on his profile.

 **Name: BigHeadBoy**

Percy groans, massaging his temples. He tries to remind himself that Fred and George are his siblings and he loves them dearly, but all he wants to do is wring their necks. At least his photo is okay, even if it isn't the most flattering one out there.

 **Bio: I'm Percy, and I have a giant stick up my arse. Looking for a capable, gentle man who can remove it for me. ;D hmu if that's you.**

Another notification pops up, another message from Oliver. Reluctantly, he opens it.

 **KnockOnWood**

 **Received: secs ago**

 **I hope I didn't scare you off. I was just surprised, but happy, ya know? Always thought you were cute. Just didn't know how forward you could be lol.**

Percy considers deleting the app and pretending this is just some strange dream. It would be so easy, if Oliver hadn't called him cute. Before he can stop himself, he begins to type.

 **BigHeadBoy**

 **Sent: secs ago**

 **I am actually not that forward. My brothers set this account up for me. I'm sure you remember Fred and George. Charming, but a bit vacuous when it comes to things that aren't football and chaos. But I digress! That is neither here nor there.**

 **Perhaps it is a good thing they did set this up for me. They did it as some silly, juvenile joke, I'm sure, but they're right. Well, they aren't right about the stick part. However, maybe it would be good to finally stop hiding who I truly am.**

 **I am very flattered to know that you find me cute. Coming from you, that means so much.**

 **And by the way, I believe I was a little bit in love with you. When we were younger, I mean. Obviously not now, as that would be far too forward.**

 **I am going to end this message here before I embarrass myself terribly.**

 **xx**

 **Percy**

He stares nervously at his phone. Each second that ticks by feels like an eternity. His eyes shift to the clock on his wall, and he groans.

He shouldn't have even replied. And to mention being half in love with Oliver… Percy groans and sets his phone aside, forcing himself to focus on his essay.

 _Buzz, buzz._

Just like that, he reaches for his phone again and pulls up the app.

 **KnockOnWood**

 **Received: secs ago**

 **Haha that does sound like something they would do. Legends, those two.**

 **Well, maybe you're more forward than I thought. ;)**

 **I'm going to be in town this weekend. Maybe we could grab lunch. I would love to see what could happen between us.**

Percy feels his insides fluttering as though he's swallowed a hundred butterflies. Grinning like an idiot, he begins typing eagerly.

 **BigHeadBoy**

 **Sent: secs ago**

 **Is Saturday good for you? I will be working with a child I tutor until about half twelve. I sincerely hope this works for you, as I would enjoy your company and a chance.**

 **xx**

 **Percy**

…

"Well, Perce?" Fred laughs when Percy joins his family for dinner. "Talk to anyone interesting today?" He and George exchange conspiratorial grins.

Percy grabs a roll, buttering it. "As it happens, I did," he answers without looking up.

For the first time in a long time, he finds himself grinning during his meal and truly enjoying himself. His phone continues to vibrate in his pocket, and he knows that he will have something more exciting than dessert to look forward to.


End file.
